Reboot! Recharge! Respect!

119daysI’ve been on Ideal Protein for 119 days. I thought I’d be at goal by now instead of wallowing 26 pounds from the finish line. My youngest son turned 15 this weekend, and like most parents, I thought, “Wait. Stop. He can’t be 15!” We ate out, big time. I made him 2 homemade-ish cakes (I used gluten free mixes for the starters, but jazzed them both up). And I tried both of them. One, more than once. And I tried the brownies too. I picked meat off the pizza. ENOUGH ALREADY! I’ve strayed too much from the course for my liking.

Today, I’m back to business, it’s Monday after all. Got a client lunch at Noodle and Company. Never been there, so I’ve got to look at the menu and decide if/what I can eat, so there are no rash decisions going on. This is my first big moment in the almost 4 month run, where I’ve felt a bit flustered, erratic and really naughty (in the food sense.)

I had a momentary lapse of respect for myself and my challenge. Shame on me.

Up a notch now, let’s go!

Birthday Dinner Blowout!

I’m amazed at how my definition of “blowout” has changed over the last 73 days. My son and hubby took me out for an early birthday dinner since on my real birthday, I’ll be laid up post-knee surgery. I ate more than I would have normally on this diet, but I found that I didn’t really want to snarf, even with the excuse of a real celebration. I say real because once I started on this Ideal Protein thing, I realized that I tended to treat every meal as a celebration. Eating was really emotional, not so much anymore. (Hooray!! That’s a wee victory in and of itself!)

The boys took me to Perry’s Steakhouse famous for it’s 15 pound pork chop. Okay, it’s not really 15 pounds, but it’s ridiculous. I LOVE that pork chop. Even when we split it, I bring home leftovers that give us a couple more meals. Here’s what I ate:

Crabcake, yum!
Crabcake, yum!

1 small crab cake (this had gluten, but was delish)

1/2 spring salad

4 oz (at most) of pork chop

1 tiny cheesecake (about the diameter of a quarter and about 1 inch tall … about two bites)

1 small creme brullee (shallow dish about 3 inch diameter)

2 bites of hubby’s potatos

2 bites of bread with butter

1 vodka with grapefruit juice and soda

So, yes, more than I would normally have eaten, but not very bad at all. I knew that I had to eat very little of each course to get it down. We were disappointed that the desserts that we LOVE there, were unavailable and we had to opt for the trio of tiny desserts, however, it saved me a TON of un-needed calories. The few bites of sugar I had were more than enough.

I really enjoyed my celebration with two of my favorite men. It’s weird that one’s away at school, he was missed. The bill was much cheaper though! He got food texts, and I got a Happy Early Birthday message. If you have a male college student, you probably know that getting a response at all is a gift!

I’m pleased with my performance, but mostly I am happy about how I felt about eating… even celebratory eating. I didn’t want to overeat, and a few bites of everything was plenty. There were no feelings of deprivation! Maybe that was the vodka at work? Cheers!

Day 72: Chimp Chump

My Chimp's A Chump
My Chimp’s A Chump

My 50 pound monkey, is now a chimp, but I can’t help feeling like a chump. I wanted to feel like a champ. I do not. I laugh sometimes when I think about how absolutely awful the first week or two (or three) of this journey was. Now, 72 days later, I’m still at it. We’ve had a VERY busy summer with lots of little trips sprinkled about so that I  had a hard time really perfecting the art of this Ideal Protein Diet. I have, however, pretty much perfected the “I don’t give a flying flock what you’re eating, I’m eating freaking lettuce (again) and I’m not gonna think about it (or I’ll puke!)” And even though I’ve been a Saint on vacation, I’m okay with losing point freaking 4 of a pound. Really. I’m okay.

I had planned, way back in my naivete, at the birth of this journey, that by the end of August, we’d celebrate the loss of an anthropoid for my birthday and I would have the option of eating the cupcake delivered to my bed. I would be monkeyless. Instead, as fate has painted it, I will celebrate my birthday with a half a monkey, a chimp, if you will, like a chump… a chump on drugs and crutches. Yep, drugs I tell you. My knee gets fixed two days before I have to remember a larger number (doesn’t matter, I can never remember my age anyway, it’s just a freaking number) and I’m not looking forward to it. And the pain killers, I cannot scream this loud enough, I HATE them. They wig me out, they make me feel absolutely shite, but I’m told I will need them at least the first couple of days. Let’s not even get started on the crutches. Just, no. Hmpht.

This journey has taken me through the jungle, slogging through the anaconda filled bog, and absolutely up hill all the way. It’s been hard. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been disappointed probably more times than I’ve been genuinely thrilled. My progress is sickeningly slow, by Ideal Protein Standards, and MUCH slower than my expectations. It’s frustrating to be doing what I’m supposed to and creeping along. I wanted to be wowed weekly by my progress.

I’m still zig-zagging in the right direction, though. I won’t quit, I’m pretty damned sure about that.

While in Colorado, I lost point 4 of a pound. I gained about a a pound of muscle, lost 3/4 inches in my waist, and 3/4 inch in my quad (that’s just atrophy though from not being able to do anything.) I hate being slow. I hate feeling like a chump. However, I must admit a chimp is much cuter than a big assed gorilla. Yes. I’ll take that.

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