A Taco Happened

Classic.

That’s how a friend described my text. Two of my best girls seem to always be on this journey with me. Sometimes we take our own roads, diet paths so to speak, but they always seem to parallel me; except when I run around in the woods chasing squirrels, hugging trees and wondering what the hell happened to that trail I was on. Then, we diverge for awhile until I find my way back. Somehow we, all three of us separately, decided to do the Body For Life plan all at the same time. It’s the ONE

How Can This Possibly Work?

I started Body For Life today. I just want cookies. That is all.

Okay, no, it’s not all. I went to the gym yesterday to test the knee on the weights. I need to lift a LOT of weight on this program. I want to load that sled up with 45s and go. So, I got on the sled, and hubby said, “try it with no weight first.” I gave him a look. “Just to test it.” Really? Do I look like a wee delicate flower? Fine. I lifted, and as I came down to 90° and started back in the other direction with “NO WEIGHT” it hurt. I decided that it just needed to warm up. I did a few more, “It hurts, doesn’t it?” Dammit. Yes, yes

Confessions of a Serial Dumb Dumb

So, happy hour was all well and good. I met a good friend at our favorite Mexican restaurant. We had a few cocktails, a few appetizers and enjoyed engaging and often deep conversations. Everything was right with the world as I drove home… up until the point where I was blinded by the glowing neon sign that declared “hot now” at the Krispy Kreme. Oh don’t act like it’s not a temptation. On a regular day I wouldn’t even look at the sign. I pointedly ignore it. Today however, let’s just say my eyes wandered. I passed by and immediately did a U-turn whipped into the parking lot and walked in for my hot now doughnut. I proceeded to order a dozen of assorted flavors that my family enjoys fully anticipating that everyone would be happy for a treat! Who was I kidding? How many do you think I actually made it home? The truth is, happy hour has now gone bad, really, really, bad. Not only did I eat a thousand million bajillion calories of sugar, I have injured myself with the evil gluten therein. I am gluten intolerant. Gluten makes my hands break out and itch and peel and bleed. It really sucks. However, in recent years it also makes my stomach hurt. So three hours post Krispy Kreme doughnut binge, my stomach is swollen like a pregnant person. I feel nauseated, and I have a headache. I am a complete and utter dumb dumb.  

A miserable dumb dumb!! Sigh.  When will I learn? When????

 

It’s Definitely A Sign !

About two hours before I was scheduled to go get my body fat scan today, they called to reschedule me! Happy Hour is on!!! It was a sign, I’m sure of it!

340 Days Til The BC Bike Race

What was I thinking? Really! I’m wondering. I’m typing with panic in my veins.

There are only 340 days until I am standing with my hubs, my mountain bike and and a few hundred total bad ass mountain bikers in beautiful British Columbia waiting to hear the start gun. I swear to you right now that I’m on the verge of losing my breakfast. There will be 7 days of single track averaging 50 km a day. Wait, that means about 31 miles of single track mountain biking A DAY! There will be 7 days of ass numbing mountain bike seat sitting, slogging, sleeping in tents and using a porta-pot, or worse. I’m predicting there will be crying. There will be cussing. Oh my gawdddd. What was I thinking? What made me say yes? I don’t rightly know. The race sold out in 4.5 days, so I am not alone. Someone else out there must be freaking out. I’m sure of it. If you’re in and scared to death, please reach out and let me know. Please!

My husband is the cutest and most adorable man ever. I want to please him. I want to impress him. I want him to know he has the most amazing, and completely bad ass wife in the whole entire universe. Does it matter that I’m completely out of shape? Does it matter that I had knee surgery in August and am still trying to recover? Really, does it even remotely matter that I’ve not been on my bike in over a year? Does it matter that I’ve still got a huge ass (I could stop that sentence right there, butt I won’t…) monkey to rid myself of? No, no it does not matter in the least.

I’ve got just over 300 days to get in the best shape of my life. Is this what I needed? Will this be the catalyst? Will it?

This race is epic category stuff here. I know we haven’t done an “epic” thing in years… well, besides getting married 8 years ago (that was flipping EPIC), and the 10 day Alaskan kayaking trip 10 years ago was pretty danged amazing. Life’s been in the way of epicness. (Yes, I realize life itself is pretty damned epic, just go with it). Well, here it comes. It’s a bucket list item, definitely for him, and maybe for me. I’ve got a long way to go, so I better get busy.

Here’s my plan of attack: Tomorrow I go to the University of Texas department of Kineseology to get my DEXA Body Comp Fit scan. This is a very accurate way to measure body fat. I may or may not post it. I posted my last scan years ago. That was harsh. Maybe I’ll post the before and after in 12 weeks? Maybe.

I will start the Body For Life protocol tomorrow. I will do it for 12 weeks, knee permitting. This is the big factor for me. BFL requires heavy lifting. I have to be able to get my legs into this. I can definitely do the upper body workouts and I think I can do my cardio/interval training on the elliptical. This is a six day a week thing. I’ve done it before with spectacular results. It’s just super hard to commit to training six days a week. I’ve also got to figure out when to get some bike time in. And tennis, I can’t walk away from that. I would also like to use the sauna that’s in the garage. It’s just good for you.

They say that when you write your goals and intentions down, you are more likely to achieve them. Well, I’ve been doing that here for a few years now via this blog… uh. Never-mind. This starts now.

There will be 339 days during which I can prepare myself for this BC Bike race. I’m so scared right now.

Scared doesn’t quite do it. Terrified, really.