KillerRabbitThey’re killing me! The jolly green giant can take his beans, his okra and any of his other leafy, fibrous, vegetative evil rabbit food and… and…. well, take a hike! I know, I know, they’re good for me. For a girl who just plain does not enjoy them, eating 4 cups a day, is damned near impossible. Well, thus far, it has proven to be exactly that, impossible. Maybe once, in the past 12 long days… hell, maybe even my life, I’ve managed to choke down 3 cups, and it was, to put it mildly, very mildly, not even remotely pleasant or palatable. Seriously, just writing about them makes my throat clench.

I’ve done okay with some roasted Brussels sprout leaves, which prior to this, I actually loved, and roasted until the verge of combustion, cauliflower (cut into tiny, tiny chunks). Salad is okay, but good gracious I’ve got to have some decent dressing. People who say to me, “just munch a piece of crunchy lettuce when you’re hungry” risk a slow and painful death. Celery? There’s another involuntary gag reflex champion, just hope you’re not standing too close. Helpful folks always run the gamut of nastiness, not realizing that their “innocuous” suggestions invoke a revulsion reaction that starts with a weird feeling in my stomach that travels upward into my mouth. Blech.

Dee says that I really need to try to get my veggies in this week, clearly, not impressed with my record setting cup a day average. Little does she know that in the past 12 desperate days, I’ve probably ingested more veggies, than I did all of last year! This, my friends, really already is a colossal amount of vegetables. I feel like a chump champ. I promised I would try. As I went to bed last night, a laid my head on the pillow of shame. I managed less than a cup. I wear the loser badge like a large Scarlet L.

Speaking of being a “loser” I did manage to lose 10 pounds. But MOTHER FATHER SON OF A BISCUIT… SHITTAKES… 7 full pounds of which seem to be muscle. I can’t even talk about it right now. Maybe tomorrow.