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June 17, 2014

Ideal Protein Day 7: Deep Thoughts

eyeI’m worried that this diet is changing my psyche and possibly my personality. It’s a bit troublesome. I mean, I’m a bit muddle-headed here. So, let me just throw out some facts. In the past 7 days:

  • I’ve become decidedly less energetic, not really lethargic, but … calm? Holy crap. Is that what it’s like?
  • My thoughts don’t bounce around my head with such enthusiasm. I just feel less excited about everything, both good and bad.
  • I’ve decided I feel drugged, slow, less ADD… which is strange because I actually miss it. I was quite entertaining in my head.
  • I feel less “wildly” happy, but I suppose I feel less wildly “stressed out like a mo-fo” too, which I do appreciate.

What does this mean? I honestly don’t know. Have I been “cured” of my ADD? With all my heart, I hope not. I know that sounds weird, but I loved the pace at which my brain raced through life. I love the multi-tasking thoughts competing for my voice, and how sometimes they’d fly straight out of my mouth, un-abashed and un-censored, because it was usually, at the very least, amusing.  It made my heart sing, a lot. It made my self in my head, you know (not the crazy kind) the one you have your inner conversations with (wow, I sound nutty on paper) stop singing a bit too. Where’s my background music?

Are carbs my ADD fuel? My spunky drug? I think I miss me.

 

 

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Ideal Protein Day 6: Don’t Try This At Home

<A head’s up, it has come to my attention that if you read this blog via email, you aren’t getting the full effect of the photos, videos and other media enhancements. Do me a favor and click the link and view it on the web… especially for this one>

So, it seems that most IP dieter folks skip along this path like happy bunnies, creating “fabulous” recipes out of IP powdered food of some sort. I’ll admit, (grudgingly) that some most of the food is tolerable, powdered or otherwise… but I just don’t enjoy drinking my food. It fills me up for about 8.65 seconds. Part of the joy of food is the actual chewing and pleasurable sense of satiety. Fluids, unless there’s a wee nip of Tito’s, just doesn’t do it. Does it?

So, trying to shed my grumpy-pants attitude, and in a moment of culinary brilliance, I decided that the oatmeal, that honestly tastes okay for a bite or two, really wanted to be a pancake. If you have eaten it, I know it’s crossed your mind. That maple flavoring SCREAMS, “I want to be a pancake!!” So, I cheerfully decided to grant it a pancake wish! I should have known better, because, well… Remember the great Bundt Cake Debacle? Oh, different blog, but check it out because, I freaking rock the kitchen like an Iron Chef… whatever that is.

Here’s how I did it:

Maple Oatmeal to Ideal Protein Pancake
Maple Oatmeal to Ideal Protein Pancake

 

 

First, spray large skillet with Olive Oil Pam. Get it nice and hot. In your handy dandy IP shaker, mix oatmeal per directions. Add one egg white, and a small amount of baking soda.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flip it Like a Flappy Jack, baby!
Flip it Like a Flappy Jack, baby!

 

 

 

It smells amazing! When you think it’s good and ready, flip it! I dare you. Yeah, you think it’s gonna be all easy and stuff…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cook, damn it! Cook!
Cook, damn it! Cook!

 

 

And keep on a’cooking, and cooking… and this is GOOP! It won’t solidify! WTHeck?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crispy Skins, Like the Chitlins Mama Used to Make, kidding, what's a chitlin?
Crispy Skins, Like the Chitlins Mama Used to Make, kidding, what’s a chitlin?

 

 

 

The crispy done part that is super-cemented to the well-greased skillet actually tastes pretty yummy! However, the goopy goop just won’t get done. AND, I’m hungry. Starting to put the grumpy-pants back on…

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Here You Go! This sat on the stove, cold, abandoned, forlorn, and disgusting for about 5 hours. My husband finally asked if I was gonna dump it or eat it.
And Here You Go! This sat on the stove, cold, abandoned, forlorn, and disgusting for about 5 hours. My husband finally asked if I was gonna dump it or eat it.

 

Ideal Protein Recipe FAIL!

 

You are welcome! Next time your maple oatmeal talks to you, walk away.

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