Gears have switched… again. Squirrel!! Well, it’s kind of funny and bitterly sad at the same time. I’ve been floating my weight loss dysfunction out there via this website for a couple of years and I’m in the same spot, well, maybe even a worse one. But, but, but,… well. (shrug)

Ran into a tennis acquaintance at a fun women’s tennis tourney. She looked like a different Ideal proteinperson. It was my first time to hear the words “Ideal Protein.” It worked for her, like crazy. I Googled it and found out that the endocrinologist’s office was using it with their diabetic and thyroid patients. After a check up and a scare (biopsy) of the thyroid, I’m thankfully fine, but really determined to get this weight off. Insulin resistance be damned.

True to my regular M.O. I’ve been preparing to start this diet with two straight weeks of binge eating. Really, it’s like I think I’ll never eat again. Uh, really…

Since I started today, I’ve been absolutely schizophrenic on the emotional front. I mean no disrespect with that word, but I have felt everything today in a non-stop parade of very strong emotions that changed quicker than  a man with a remote control; hope, depression, pride, shame, helplessness, joy, disgust, annoyance, freedom, defiance, oppression, courage, fear, happiness, and anger. Anger. I mean at one point I was a big bad bag of bitch. No kidding. My blood sugar hit the floor and my temper went into space, as in the final frontier. The F bomb cometh. My husband quietly stepped out into the backyard choosing to face the vampire mosquitoes, that are the worst I’ve seen in years, than to remain in the house while I banged, clanged and bitched (loudly) in the kitchen.

I’m so hungry, not that I know what it feels like to feel TRUE hunger, I feel it in the fat American sense, obviously. Oh, and I’m a bit grumpy, not that anyone would notice. As soon as that clock hits 8 p.m. I’m going to bed to sleep through it. Wake me up in 5 months.

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