In utter desperation (um, dedication) to my shedding some pounds, I’ve created a place of my very own (torture chamber? Hamster Wheel?) to try to speed up this mutherfather marathon of monkey madness. Now, I can combine my mindless Pinterest Obsession with my mindless calorie reduction Abdomination (um, Obsession). I’m a genius! (Insert crazy genius mad-mom laughter here!)
I’ve turned my VERY dusty treadmill into a Pinterest Pedometer. Ha, gonna trademark that.
I first measured the hand bars on the treadmill… climbed into the attic and found a Container Store shelf that would span the gap and was deep enough to hold my laptop.
I then pondered for awhile the complex science of how to attach my shelf to the treadmill without mauling my much loved, much used (lie) machine.
I thought about brackets, screws and using those metal wire clamp thingys… but alas a lightening bolt of laziness smacked me and I chose to KISS. (keep it simple Sarah) It really was such a great idea that I jumped right into the car and went down the street to The Hardware Store. That is it’s name, not kidding. There I asked the little old guy at the counter where the metal clampy things were not because I thought I needed them, but because I really wanted to see if he could figure out what I was talking about. He set out at an alarming pace. Little old guy had wheels… AND obviously the term “metal clampy thing” is the technically precise term because he took me straight there! Impressed, I then asked where the Velcro was. He took me to a dusty aisle, no surprise they all were, and pointed at the huge rolls of Velcro with sticky backing. It was so super awesome! You could cut your own to size! Oh, the things I could do with that kind of Velcro! So, I cut myself 2 feet of hooks, and 2 feet of softs. Yes, those are my technical terms and I have no doubt previously discussed hardware man would know exactly what I was talking about.
At home, I very carefully and precisely measured the circumference of my hold bar by wrapping the “soft” Velcro tape around it and marking with my finger where to cut. I did on both sides (short cut, time-saving super hint: do it once and cut all your strips the same… doh!), removed the tape and stuck two strips on both bars. Note, I used the “softs” on the bars so that when someone else uses the treadmill, it won’t be scratchy. Mmmm Hmmmm.
I then, went to my shelf and immediately thought, “Why did I buy 2 feet of hooks?” I really only needed about 6 inches on each side. Well, you know what they say, “Better to have too much than too little.” If only that applied to fat cells…
To measure the exact perfect placement place for the “hooks” I simply stuck the hooks to the “softs” and carefully removed the backing to expose the extremely sticky tape. I picked up the shelf, and slowly lowered it onto the sticky tape and smushed. Voila! Velcro Victory! Done! It’s removable (and makes that pleasing ripping sound) so I can fold up the Pinterest Pedometer when I’ve done a mile or two.
If I hadn’t had to completely clean the whole treadmill for the pictures only to have the muddy dogs decide to run back and forth across the platform… oh well, the whole process would have taken only a few minutes and a few dollars. It works quite nicely though, if I do say so myself. Now, to be a prolific pinner! Monkey see. Monkey do! And yes, I know what you’re thinking… It would also make a nice platform for a bowl of Pirates Booty and a strawberry mango margarita. It never crossed my mind.
Oh, and by the way this is what I mean by “metal clampy thing” that I didn’t end up using.