Lost My Marbles RANT

So, I had about 4 glass pieces over in my LOST jar = 2 pounds. And this morning… I had to move 6 back +3 pounds. I’m negative…

 Maybe I’m positive… whatever… plus pounds.  Well, %$#@! me. I was pretty damned good last week. I played 5 hours of tennis. I ate well. I biked 10 miles. I had maybe two questionable meals. UP 3 pounds?

So, after my major morning meltdown and 5 miles on the bike with my darling adorable husband, I’m back dry-eyed, with pollen in my hair. What I decided while grinding up those hills was that:

Not Just a Piece of Glass

I spy...

 

So, I was afraid to get on the scale today because I was really trying to confirm my starting point. And lo and behold…. my starting point went down a WHOLE half pound! I got to move a piece of glass! Didn’t think I’d get so giddy. Mostly, it’s because I was afraid I would have to add more glass, and I don’t have anymore!

So, this deal is starting in earnest, today.

It's lonely at the bottom... really.

Writing Exercise NOT working

Wha? I’ve been writing my guts out about my 50#s. I’ve even called it a writing “exercise” for cripes sake! But somehow it’s not working. Well, I think it’s not working. I’m getting ready to get ready to… sigh. I’m scared to death to get on the scale, but I promise that I will do so tomorrow to see what happened last week. I mean, well, nothing changed except that I started writing about this journey that I’m starting…. tomorrow. What’s funny is,

A Mile On Pinterest

A Normal old boring Treadmill

In utter desperation (um, dedication) to my shedding some pounds, I’ve created a place of my very own (torture chamber? Hamster Wheel?) to try to speed up this mutherfather marathon of monkey madness. Now, I can combine my mindless Pinterest Obsession with my mindless calorie reduction Abdomination (um, Obsession). I’m a genius! (Insert crazy genius mad-mom laughter here!)

I’ve turned my VERY dusty treadmill into a Pinterest Pedometer. Ha, gonna trademark that.

Here’s how!

Awwww, What’s 50 Pounds?

Woohoo! I’ll take that fifty pounds and a pint of lager! Or hell, just give me fifty lagers to get through this post!

I’m a visual person. Seems funny to say that. How could I MISS the 50 extra pounds that so sneakily(and lumpily) graced my 5’2″ sveltness? But humor me here.

A Monkey? More like a Western Lowland Grey Back Gorilla King

Freakin’  Monkey!

At wits end. Done.

I suppose I’m at my tipping point. I’m at the end of my rope.  At the edge of a cliff. Backed into a corner… well, as far as I can wedge my fat ass into the proverbial corner.

With 50 pounds to lose, I’d like to say that it snuck up on me while I wasn’t looking. Truth is, I wasn’t looking because I’ve got an above average imagination and a naturally happy (jolly seems more apropos) disposition. To say I didn’t see it coming would be somewhat truthful