Where to start? Really. Where to start …. again? I bet if I did a most used word search for my last few years of writing 50 Pound Monkey, that it might possibly reveal that I use the word “start” like a broken record. I do a lot of starting. I suppose that means I do a lot of stopping and wandering off the trail. I do love the scenic route, and I’m so easily distracted by life. I think that for the most part, it’s a gift. I find wonder and joy (and cookies) everywhere I look, and shiny things and squirrels, but it’s okay. It’s okay because I don’t give up. I get distracted. There is a difference.
My good intentions may not lead me from point A to point B directly, but honestly, I’ve never been good at straight lines or by-the-book living. That’s not exactly true, I do tend to follow rules; oh who am I kidding? If the rules are black and white, for flip’s sake, they obviously need a little something something. I’m always throwing in color, paint adjectives and curves and taking the long way around. That’s just me. I do believe that I’ll get there eventually, and I know that someday, I’ll have to be the boss of me, but dammit, when I or anyone else tells me what to do, I get that head tilt thing and, well, I’m a bit of a snotty rebellious sort.
However, Ideal Protein has been my friend this go round. I started (again) almost two months ago and I’m getting close to 20 pounds gone. That makes me happy. No brainers are good things. If I’m not thinking too much, I don’t get as creative or off course. It might help that I’ve got so many other things in my world that are lighting me up. Music, mostly. I come from a long line of singers and musicians. I didn’t have much time or inclination toward music when growing up because I was consumed with every sport, friends, boys and things young girls get distracted by. I loved music, played clarinet and a bit of piano, but we didn’t have vocal opportunities beside the big round fireplace at the old family ranch with all the extended family. We sang on car rides with my mom playing the Ukelele in the front seat too, but mostly I left the real singing to my dad. He’s got an awesome voice.
A year or two ago, I started voice lessons because I hated that I was so shy to sing. I need to clarify. I am not shy. I could talk to the fence post and probably make it laugh, but singing, well now, that’s a completely different level of intimacy. Fast forward past my 50 before 50 challenge, my first music gig and all of the sudden, I’ve written my first song. I’m completely hooked. Why did I not know that this was such a huge part of me? I found my voice at 48.5. It’s all I want to do. I’d rather sing and write than eat. It’s hard to sing when you’re trying to swallow! Someday, when we’re finished producing it, and it’s out there as a demo, I’ll post it. You probably won’t have to wait long. We want to re-work the bridge. By we, I mean me and the most amazing producer/musical freaking genius and I kid you not, I am not exaggerating. Eddy Hobizal is amazing. Perfect pitch, and literally freaked me out the first time we met. “Okay, sing the chorus, if that’s what you’ve got. Sing how you think it should go.” I started singing, and within seconds his hands were on the exact right notes and he was literally playing my song. I stopped suddenly and said, “What the actual f*ck just happened? How did you do that?” And a beautiful miracle happened. My words from my heart, played out in the universe in melody and happy vibrations. That’s soul food.
Tennis is happening too. I’ve signed up for a tournament at the end of the month. It’s a tourney I’ve always wanted to play. It’s an age group thing, and I’ve never played in one of those. Usually, I play tournaments where we play by level, by NTRP rating. I’ll be playing women’s 50s singles. This means I could be playing anyone, regardless of their rating. I could play a pro, or someone just starting. It’s likely that my butt will be presented back to me on a platter, but if they’re serving vodka with it, I’m good with that. The knee, and there’s some wood touching and knocking going on right here right now, has been good. Really good. I never thought I’d feel “normal” with that knee ever again. It took so long, but holy cow it feels so good!
Life’s good right now. It always is. There is always something to discover, to enjoy, to ponder, to study and to create. You can always stretch yourself and learn something new you didn’t know about you. You’ve got the ability to live life, get distracted and start again. Just don’t give up.
Start. And then, start again.
It’s all good.
If you miss me, come see what I’m doing by following my ventures and adventures at:
Rooneys Adventures (a new blog about our big and little adventures)